I want to keep this section on an every day level as I believe you can learn from any experience in your daily life if you are ‘open’ to it.
June 2010
Went for an interview today and was nervous but glad I had been courageous enough to attend.
I was thinking what a long way I have come, especially when I read some of my other posts.
I reminded myself that I do everything to the best of my ability, how can you do more than that, no telling myself off. I used to spend so much wasted energy on that one!
I was looking at the 'antics' of the ducklings I have yesterday, I found it so amusing watching them slide down their run to get back into their pen. When you are peaceful inside little things bring great joy.
Sept 2009
There I am being naughty and forgetting to write 'stuff' down! No I shouldn't be telling myself off!
I am having an artists studio open weekend in a couple of days time. I could get caught up in the 'what will they think of my work syndrome, will they 'get' me, will they think I am a weirdo (my work is abstract).
Then I have to remember why I am doing this, yes I am doing it to perhaps sell work, invite and welcome people into my home, but I am facing a fear and with that fear comes growth. I believe the more you face fear the more you grow. When you are AWARE you notice how many times you avoid situations etc,with that awareness you then you have to decide whether you want to change old habits, keep repeating the pattern or face and grow, your choice! I'll leave that with you then!!! Bye for now.
February 19th 2009
It's been ages many apologies!!
I have had many thought over the while, but have been lazy and not written them down.!! I have been putting myself in uncomfortable places lately. I know I am afraid to do something, and if I try to ignore it, it keeps coming back at me. The funny thing is, if I just went straight ahead and did 'it' (faced the fear) with out all the dithering it's never as bad as my mind has lead me to believe. It's a lot easier said than done, but I do it to the best of my ability, trying to remember not to beat myself up for not facing the fear/problem/person etc.
I believe everything in our life can be a learning curve whether that’s a ‘good’ experience or a ‘bad’ experience.
‘I had switched the water tap on and was filling up the drink container for my hens and I began to observe my feelings. I was becoming impatient with how long it was taking the container to fill. Once I became aware of this feeling I smiled and ‘released’ it, realising I had been caught out by my thoughts. Then I was happy to wait for the water to fill and saw as I looked down into the container the beauty of the churning bubbles as they floated to the top’.
FEBRUARY 14TH 2008
Until I decided to do this section I was full of thoughts but as soon as I try to think of one I have dried up!
So for days I kept saying to myself what can I write, what can I write. Then it dawned on me, accept that I cannot think of anything, and that's ok. Because I wanted to come up with words of wisdom, the wanting was stopping any words 'floating 'to the surface.
March 1st 2008
I was walking down the road with my camera in hand and up ahead I could see rays of sunlight coming through the trees.
I started to take pictures as I was approaching the light and it looked so lovely. I thought when I got to the source of the light I would get some really good photos but what I hadn't realised was that 'when you are in it you can't see it' In other words when you are caught up in the spiral of fear you cant see what you are doing to yourself and once you step outside of it you can!
March 18th 2008
If you have a spot on your face and you just keep covering it up you are not dealing with the problem. Perhaps the solution is to eat a healthier diet,
as in life :
If you always do what you have always done,
you will always get what you have always gotten !
March 29th 2008
'When the wind blows the tree doesn't resist' - Yvonne
April 17th 2008
I was thinking about how fast the pace of life is and how you can choose to 'join in' or not. It is so easy to get carried along with it all. Why not make a choice not to.How difficult would it be for you were you to turn a tap on and find that the water was just trickling out. Could you easily wait for it to fill without getting annoyed i.e. fighting with 'what is' and just accepting the situation in that present moment and not wanting to hurry up!
May 5th 2008
This is supposed to be thought of the week and it is becoming thoughts when i remember to put them down!!!!!
I went for a lovely walk today along the river Lathkill in Derbyshire.I have been thinking to much lately which isn't a good thing for anyone!My simple message today is whenever you feel 'in the wrong place' nature is a good place to be. I sat observing a coot in the water retrieving food from the bottom of the water, then moving on to another spot and doing the same again. Is the coot worrying about work, family or any other issuses? I think not. By observing the peace of the bird it showed me how to be more peaceful. I believe nature is a good healer.
25th May 2008
Today I went out into my garden to do some weeding and I was somewhere else in my head thinking about what I was going to do next week.At that moment a man passed by and said "You live in a wonderful place" and I said "Thankyou".It shocked me and brought me right back to my garden.Sometimes it is easy to forget it and it needs another person to wake you up again to the beauty that surrounds you. It is so easy to be 'miles away' when you really should be in the present.
25th July 2008
I know what I have to do when I get a thought that bothers me, it is NOT try and get rid of it. What I need to do is look at it straight in the face.
'What you resist persists'
August 8th 2008
I recently went to see the ABBA film and really enjoyed it. The following day myself and my sister and daughter put some ABBA music on and danced around the house and outside in the garden. This is when I could have said "I don't want anyone to see me, what will THEY think of me" Who are they anyway. Other human being just like myself, maybe they would have looked on in envy that they wern't joining in the fun or maybe they might have said 'look at those idiots dancing round' does it really matter. life is for living and enjoying, as long as you are not harming anyone else there is no harm in it - JUST DO IT!!!
August 21st 2008
Yesterday I went and sat a computerised English test and I was rather disappointed with the results.Why am I disappointed, I recognise old feelings from the past, feelings of 'i'm stupid'. I don't feel that tests are a reflection of a person's 'worth'. I have to let the feelings be and remind myself I did actually sit the test and that was an achievement in itself. I am still a person who has a lot to offer and give to others. If you spot any grammatical errors I don't want to know, Ha, Ha,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Update -I passed my English exam, yes we can all do more than we think we can.!
October 2008
I recently visited Spain. I was looking out of the appartment window and I saw a particularly large palm tree and I thought to myself, 'I wonder why it has grown so tall,' and then thought it's comparible to a person. If we stand on our own and without fear we can truly grow to our full potential.
December 2008
The 50 Minute Journey - What exactly does this mean!!!
How aware of your thoughts are you?
As I walked along the road this is how mine went, starting with thought 1 and so on.
- I must paint that wonderful silver birch bark in inks of black and brown.
- My eyes are hurting, I hope it's nothing serious - Don't bite into this one Yvonne. (the voice of awareness speaking)
- My stomach feels acidy - Ha Ha you are always trying to frighten me and catch me out. (the voice of awareness speaking)
- Wow! what a wonderful gap between the reeds framing the lakes water.,
- I see a Barbed wire fence - Thats like life stretches of smooth, and then the spikey stuff, and so on!
- The colour of the trees are so beautiful.
- I feel alone .
- It's a struggle trying to sell my work - Just keep going Yvonne believe and trust (the voice of awareness speaks again)
- The hedge is chopped so severely ,like it's been ripped from the hedge as it was being cut.
- The reeds are drooping down in the dank atmosphere, like a girl with long hair bending down to dry her hair.
You have up to 50,000 thoughts a day it's up to you how you deal with them. ONCE YOU ARE AWARE!
December 21st 2008
I was out on a bikeride when I looked across to the field on my left. I could see the the stubble after the sweetcorn had been harvested. The field was all shades of brown because of the lie of the stubble. I thought what a lovely photo that would be, and then I realised what it meant to me. The colours are all different but they are all the same. Whatever colour our skin we are all the same. Nature is always out to teach if you look.