I decided to start my own business to help others who are in an ‘anxiety state’ and in particular Panic Attacks. I had been a sufferer for over 20 years until my life was transformed by The Freedom from Fear Recovery Programme. This programme was put together by a fellow sufferer David Johnson who is now cured. David’s website can be found at www.healing-anxiety.com

I had been to Doctors, Psychiatric nurses, and Behavioural Therapists over the years but found what was on offer didn’t help me long term because I had no understanding of what was happening to me and how to help myself.

I always seemed to be in a constant state of anxiety for no particular reason.
I would only drive places I knew; afraid I would get stuck in a traffic jam where there was nowhere to run away to.

I had to put an act on so nobody would realise there was anything wrong with me. I had to look ‘normal’ and that I was in control and not falling apart, but inside I felt I was about to crumble. Of course this puts so much pressure on you.

I would constantly check my body for lumps and bumps thinking I had a terminal disease and I would constantly visit the doctors looking for reassurance. I would feel reassured and happy for a short while then I would start thinking I had a terminal disease in another part of my body or think I had failed to mention something important and the doctor had missed giving me a proper diagnosis, and so the cycle went on. I was so afraid of having a terminal illness that I wasn’t really living either.

I was always trying to work things out, going over and over it in my head, thinking this thought and then that thought, I’d wear myself out with thinking. Deciding I would do this and the next minute I would say to myself no I’ll do that, going round in circles.

When I went out shopping for instance I would be ok for a while and then all of a sudden I would think I have to get back home to my ‘safe place’. When I went away on holiday I would be extremely anxious and usually have several panic attacks because the fear of being far from home was so great. To me panic attacks were my worst symptom because to me there was no other fear to match its intensity. I feel it is hard to put into words how awful they are to experience. Then I had the worst panic attack I had ever experienced and felt I couldn’t go on. I just kept shaking with fear, fear of experiencing another panic attack. I looked on the internet and this is where I found David’s programme.